I'm Sorry, I Tried.

Photo by Gabriele Diwald on Unsplash

It's been a while since I've written a poem, I did used to do this a lot as a form of journalling. I have a lot of emotions inside of me at the moment. I have been thinking about writing them down for quite some time but poetry has always been very meaningful to me.

Anyway, here goes.

I'm Sorry, I tried.

I always made it my job to protect you,

When you fell, when you had your heartbroken,

When they kept you locked away.

I couldn't ever sleep knowing you were not okay.

"It's not your job", I heard that a lot.

But something they don't get,

for me it was the job I was born for.

But you're not okay.

I'm sorry, I tried.

Many times I have seen you trapped,

In places you were not meant to be. I heard you scream.

Sometimes your lips were moving,

Sometimes just your eyes.

But I heard it.

And I couldn't get to you.

I'm sorry, I tried.

I feel what you are feeling even when we are apart.

I feel panicked when you are in danger.

You are hurting.

It hurts.

I want to help you take that pain away,

But when I ask you, "I'm okay". Just talk to me, when you're ready.

But when will you be ready?

I'm sorry, I tried.

In bed, I wrote your eulogy in my head.

So many times.

I grieved losing you, over and over.

This time it'll be different.

You have good inside of you,

I tried to show you, the letters.

Every desperate letter.

Maybe words don't work.

I'm sorry, I tried.

When you would fall, you'd show me where it hurt.

I'd scoop you up & we'd fix the cut.

I'd carry you till you could walk.

You won't show me where you're bleeding from.

Please just show me.

I want to help.

Please let me help.

I'm sorry, I tried.

x