• Jess Nugent

I'm Sorry, I Tried.


Photo by Gabriele Diwald on Unsplash

It's been a while since I've written a poem, I did used to do this a lot as a form of journalling. I have a lot of emotions inside of me at the moment. I have been thinking about writing them down for quite some time but poetry has always been very meaningful to me.


Anyway, here goes.


I'm Sorry, I tried.


I always made it my job to protect you,

When you fell, when you had your heartbroken,

When they kept you locked away.


I couldn't ever sleep knowing you were not okay.


"It's not your job", I heard that a lot.

But something they don't get,

for me it was the job I was born for.


But you're not okay.

I'm sorry, I tried.


Many times I have seen you trapped,

In places you were not meant to be. I heard you scream.


Sometimes your lips were moving,

Sometimes just your eyes.

But I heard it.


And I couldn't get to you.

I'm sorry, I tried.


I feel what you are feeling even when we are apart.

I feel panicked when you are in danger.

You are hurting.


It hurts.


I want to help you take that pain away,

But when I ask you, "I'm okay". Just talk to me, when you're ready.


But when will you be ready?

I'm sorry, I tried.


In bed, I wrote your eulogy in my head.

So many times.

I grieved losing you, over and over.


This time it'll be different.


You have good inside of you,

I tried to show you, the letters.

Every desperate letter.


Maybe words don't work.

I'm sorry, I tried.


When you would fall, you'd show me where it hurt.

I'd scoop you up & we'd fix the cut.

I'd carry you till you could walk.


You won't show me where you're bleeding from.


Please just show me.

I want to help.

Please let me help.


I'm sorry, I tried.


x


© 2019 Jess Nugent. Proudly created by Artists & Rebels and Nugent Media